Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
handjob tips. give me some.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I AM VODKA MAN
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
