I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The best revenge is premature balding
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
