We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
