whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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