oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
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