the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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