You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
