You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
