HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
