So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
