How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
