Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
