I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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