talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
