I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
