giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Randomize
