Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I am available for nakedness
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
