she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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