i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
