Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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