My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
