My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
