if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
