I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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