He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
