He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
