I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
