I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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