she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
