went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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