Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize