The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
