So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
you never un-have a 4some
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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