Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Congratulations! We have a period
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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