Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
