we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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