It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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