where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
