Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So vagazzling was a success
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
