tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
