What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
