Why does Corona taste like a burp?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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