pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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