This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
