I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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