the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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