And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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