Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
