Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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