She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
