Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
