You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
