At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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