Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
