His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
