This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
