Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
