were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
