I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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