Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
