It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we made out on top of his cat.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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