So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
