they need to just BURY HIM!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize