I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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