I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
