I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
