I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
