i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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