I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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