I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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