Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
