fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
