I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
