OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
