Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Randomize
